That’s it. That’s the entire love letter. After 500 years of love letters and poetry, The Count got a reply that was only five words long, and now he absolutely will not shut up about it. Your job is to carry him, inside his coffin, across a completely ridiculous fantasy world to his long-lost lover. Sounds easy, right? Yeah… definitely not.
The coffin is heavy, awkward, and constantly breaking, so getting it across the map is basically an adventure by itself. You’ll ride it, balance it across dangerous gaps, pull it up cliffs with a winch, and even use the cannon attached to the coffin to launch an Igor wherever he needs to go. And because everything seems determined to fall apart, you’ll also have to stop and repair the coffin whenever something breaks.
You can play alone or team up with 1 to 4 players online. Your Igor crew has some seriously weird personalities too. Gob is trying to keep everything professional, Scab just wants to do his job, Stink is way too obsessed with violence, and Plunk is… well, Plunk is just Plunk. No matter how strange they are, they all have one thing in common: they absolutely love their master.
The journey takes you through 19 dangerous regions, starting from The Count’s castle and eventually heading toward Romilda’s estate. Along the way, you’ll explore places like the Mushroom Caves, Serpent Swamp, Reeking Bog, Shivering Summits, Hot Springs, and Bloodwood Pass. Obviously, none of these places are safe, with falling rocks, thunder golems, guards, trolls, barbarians, time wizards, and a big surprise waiting somewhere along the way.
And then there’s The Count himself. He has something to say about basically everything you do, and he’ll be shouting his opinions from inside the coffin for the entire journey. Whether he’s complaining about Plunk’s head, Plunk’s smell, or questioning why Plunk is even still alive, you’re going to hear about it. A lot.
You’ll also meet Baba Yaga, who runs a strange shop that literally travels around on chicken legs. Bring her coins, stolen treasures, or anything shiny you find, and she’ll trade you magical items while occasionally calling you a sweet little dumpling. There’s plenty of other random stuff to mess around with too, like punching barrels until they drop coins, punching Igors, eating sausages or toxic mushrooms, wearing ridiculous hats, and finding instruments to start your own band while The Count screams at you from his coffin.
With climbing, swimming, punching, grappling hooks, winches, coffin-mounted cannons, magical items, hats, sausages, musical instruments, and 19 dangerous regions to explore, this journey is basically pure chaos. Play solo or bring up to four players online and try to get The Count safely to his long-lost lover without completely destroying the coffin—or your sanity.
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